haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
