ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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