dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
