I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
