I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
