ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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