Girls should come with a carfax report
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
