just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
