ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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