We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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