Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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