you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
