I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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