she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
