Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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