chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
