so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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