Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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