It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
