the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even my vagina gasped.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
