I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
