nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
