EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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