I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
