yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
