so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
