using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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