I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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