Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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