come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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