Kiss
Puke
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
