can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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