I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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