I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
