was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
