terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
