Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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