overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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