Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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