so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
