biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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