I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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