I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
