Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
