I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
