ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
