Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she told me i tasted like america
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
