Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
