Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize