Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
