he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
