whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize