im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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