I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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