So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
