Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize