How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
