You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
