Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
