Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
